Frumpy Middle-aged Mom: I set down my purse, and then this happened …

So, this happened. I went into a private restroom at a Kaiser hospital Tuesday, and there was no place to put my favorite purse except the top of the trash can (Ick, don’t get me started) and so I set it on the edge of the sink. I turned around, heard a weird sound, and when I turned back I realized to my horror that the motion sensor had activated on the faucet and it was pouring water into my purse.

I grabbed the purse and realized it had become a very tiny Barbie swimming pool. I fished out all the soaking wet contents, laid them on paper towels on top of the trash can (still icky), drained the swimming pool and wiped everything off. Luckily, nothing was ruined, and my purse even dried out OK.

But this is a warning to everyone to watch out for rogue sinks. Amazingly enough, two other women told me the same thing happened to them at Kaiser. Gee, Kaiser, maybe you should provide a better place for women’s purses. Seriously, if more men carried purses, I really think they’d have purse hooks and shelves everywhere.

Meanwhile, my Facebook friends had some stories that even beat mine. Here’s a sample:

Barbara Bearden: I set mine on a large turtle I didn’t realize was there. It was just a tote bag, but had my room key and wallet inside!! It was hilarious, watching the hotel gardener chasing the turtle around!! It was a big turtle and they were all over this place/isle we visited in the Caribbean. There was some huts, in a garden sort of area, and there were all these big turtles!! They’d lumber around and I didn’t realize I’d put my tote on one. It was so funny watching this guy, attempting to follow the turtle through all this brush, all they while, my tote is having a great ride!!! And it never fell off!!!

Jennifer A. Becker: My crazy purse story happened a few weeks ago. I have an old “sack” purse that I was going to throw away but then decided to keep it to use as a “poop” holder for when I walk my dogs. Both of my dogs, as they have gotten older, have developed digestive issues and have the stinkiest poop I have ever smelled. As I walk them I triple bag the poop and put the bag into my ”purse” and usually by the end of the walk my “purse” is full of these bags of poop that I toss in the outside trash when I get home. So I was almost finished with the walk when suddenly I was mugged by 2 hollow-eyed, sunken-cheek teenagers on bikes who stole my purse and kept riding. I was just about to yell “Watch out it is full of s—!” but decided, nah let them find out for themselves!

Carol Bobke: My family loves pranks. One time at dinner my brother slyly put silverware, salt and pepper shakers, etc., into my mom’s big purse. When she went up to pay, she found the stash and had to explain it to the cashier. Another time he filled her purse with breakfast sausage.

Sandy Wolfe: Once at the Renaissance Festival I used the portable potties, came out and told my husband “How great is that, they have a little container to put my purse?” He cracked up when explaining that was the urinal! Ugh!

Cindy Goulet Merino: When I was a young single mother of three, my friend and I attended an annual St Patrick Day party at our church. She brought her own Jameson’s in a water bottle. She took a swig, slapped the top down, and tossed it under the table “into her purse” — only it wasn’t her purse it was mine. And the lid wasn’t on. She searched everywhere for her Jameson’s and decided someone took it. Until the next morning when we attended Catholic mass and I took out my checkbook for the offering, only to find it soaked and my purse reeking of Jameson’s.

Michael Curtiss: At a restaurant they seated our group of three couples in a large circular high back booth that was raised above floor level to improve the view. As the first wife slid in, she reached up to place her purse on a shelf that she expected to be behind the curve of the seating. As she let go of it, it dropped about 6 feet down the hole to the floor!! 2 Managers had to hold their skinniest busboy by the ankles and lower him headfirst into the opening with a flashlight to retrieve it!

Nancy Olguin: Growing up, every year we went back to Costa Rica for a month and stayed with my aunt and her family. I left my purse open one night. The next morning I was digging through my purse looking for something and what came out ON MY HAND was a huge roach! Mind you, roaches in tropical countries fly and are huge! To this day I have a true phobia of roaches.

Carleen Powers: My friend and I were at Dodger Stadium nursing beers the guys bought us. It took us so long to drink the beer the bottom of my friend’s cup broke open and it dumped right into the purse of the women sitting in front of us. She had placed her purse under her seat. We were very young and too scared to tell her what happened!

Catherine Yamaguchi: When I was in Italy, the continental breakfast had butter and I was so excited. I put a handful of pats in my purse for lunchtime. The day was hot. The butter melted and I had a very greasy purse.

Ingrid Eck Pullen: I was driving with my dog when he leaned forward and threw up in my purse.

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